Fear!

Back in the olden days (pre-COVID), when I was in an actual Ashtanga yoga class, there were lots of people there doing, what I considered at the time to be, postures outwith my capabilities. Things such as Headstand, Upward-Facing Bow, Crow (see above) - balancing on the backs of your arms, whilst looking towards the floor.

Crow is not as easy as it looks - not that it looks easy in any way! The difficulty for me, and probably many other practitioners working with this posture, is that it evokes a primal emotion - fear.

What if I lose my balance and hit my head? What if I twist my wrist? What if I collapse on the floor in a heap?

Logically, when I start thinking about it, I've conquered my fear of other postures I've classified as "scary", so there's a certain confidence that I'll eventually be able to practice Crow. This is what my yoga practice gives me.

Confidence to keep trying, even if the progress is measured in baby steps. Strategies for working through challenges. That feeling of satisfaction when I get over a hurdle I've set myself. It's not about winning or losing, but about growth, acceptance, over-coming fear.

As we all start to move out of lock-down into an unfamiliar new world, I can take what I've learned into it. Life is going to be different. I can work with that. It might be scary going back to pre-COVID activites. I can take baby-steps towards normality.

I suspect that this much longed for phase of re-opening, is going to be difficult for many of us who have been avoiding people and places for so long to keep safe. For me, I can recognise that fear as a mechanism for change and meet it head on.

I can work with the fear that I've experienced in a controlled manner on my yoga mat and use it as a vehicle to propel me forwards. I know that, just as when I am able to practice Crow, back in a relatively pre-COVID life, is going to feel amazing!

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